My 9th Grader
It seems impossible that my youngest child has finished middle school and will enter the 9th grade in the fall. Impossible, my mind reverberates... it was only yesterday he was two and wanting his "blankey" as we cuddled together on the couch for nap time. I was finishing my bachelor's degree then and as soon as he would fall asleep, I would, oh so carefully, rise from the couch and go study. Now how I wish I would have stayed still and lingered in those moments that are now just wistful memories in a longing mother's mind.
Tomorrow he leaves for ten days to enjoy a trip with his 8th grade class and I'm sure the thought of napping on the couch when he was two will never enter his mind, yet I can think of nothing else as I check his packed bag for the third time.
What I would give to have one day with all my children young again, reaching up to me with their arms outstretched, just waiting to be lifted into my arms. The innocence of their youth seems lost forever in their ever unfolding, maturing lives and I could lose myself completely in the melancholy of remembrance.
But to have my children live forever in their youth would deprive them of their lives as adults, never knowing the joys of independence along with the gut-wrenching throws of responsibility and circumstance... oh, how we learn from life as adults. Yes, I want my children to have all that life has to give, I just wish I could protect them from the hurt they will inevitably suffer.
Life does hurt and there are moments when we think that's it, I can't take it anymore! We think we won't live through our misery. But those are the moments where, at the end of ourselves, we find something else...
For me that has meant finding and developing a deep and revealing relationship with God. I pray that my children will have this, too. My biggest hope is that in my living the example, my children will learn how to accomplish the same and in that, will find peace in this life of bumps and bruises.
I'm sure they will have their fair share of joy, laughter and smiles, as well. And, maybe, one day, they'll have children of their own and the cycle will begin again with new life and new experiences and more afternoon naps.
But for now I'll just think about my own time with my youngest back in the days of Barney and Thomas the Tank Engine and afternoon naps on the couch ... before I walk downstairs to check his packed bag yet again.
--Kristin
Tomorrow he leaves for ten days to enjoy a trip with his 8th grade class and I'm sure the thought of napping on the couch when he was two will never enter his mind, yet I can think of nothing else as I check his packed bag for the third time.
What I would give to have one day with all my children young again, reaching up to me with their arms outstretched, just waiting to be lifted into my arms. The innocence of their youth seems lost forever in their ever unfolding, maturing lives and I could lose myself completely in the melancholy of remembrance.
But to have my children live forever in their youth would deprive them of their lives as adults, never knowing the joys of independence along with the gut-wrenching throws of responsibility and circumstance... oh, how we learn from life as adults. Yes, I want my children to have all that life has to give, I just wish I could protect them from the hurt they will inevitably suffer.
Life does hurt and there are moments when we think that's it, I can't take it anymore! We think we won't live through our misery. But those are the moments where, at the end of ourselves, we find something else...
For me that has meant finding and developing a deep and revealing relationship with God. I pray that my children will have this, too. My biggest hope is that in my living the example, my children will learn how to accomplish the same and in that, will find peace in this life of bumps and bruises.
I'm sure they will have their fair share of joy, laughter and smiles, as well. And, maybe, one day, they'll have children of their own and the cycle will begin again with new life and new experiences and more afternoon naps.
But for now I'll just think about my own time with my youngest back in the days of Barney and Thomas the Tank Engine and afternoon naps on the couch ... before I walk downstairs to check his packed bag yet again.
--Kristin
posted by Kristin at
8:44 PM
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